We all have that girlfriend who absolutely knows who she is. My friend Heather is this woman for me. Heather stands unapologetically on her own two feet. She doesn’t care what other people think, yet cares deeply about other people. She knows exactly what she wants and gets it. Every time I see her, she has a perfect manicure, she’s dressed impeccably, and she makes me wish I took better care of myself. She has swagger AND style. Heather knows her purpose and her personal brand and shows up in it every day. She inspires me want to be a better version of myself. To take it up a notch. She’s a little intimidating.
Inside of you is a superpower, a purpose —the thing you were put here to do for the world. Inside of you is something no one else can do, it solely belongs to you. It’s your awesome! So don’t waste time pining for “her” perfect life, in reality her life is perfect for her and yours is perfect for you.
I know what you’re thinking. “How do I wear MY awesome?” Try these three steps!
Tell Yourself Nice Things
Most of us don’t say nice things when we look in the mirror. There’s a way to change that! First, grab some sticky notes. Write down one incredible thought about yourself on each sticky note. Pretend you’re someone on the outside talking to you about how amazing you are. Write down the things your friends, significant other, and random strangers say about you. Each positive thought deserves its own note. Put the notes on your bathroom mirror, or even in your car. Read them every time you face yourself. Add to them as often as you think of something else. If you can’t think of any right away, here’s one to get you started: You are enough.
Understand Your Purpose
Your awesome is the purpose you were born with. That thing you were put here to do, that only you can do. The thing that brings you unexplainable joy. It makes your heart jump out of your chest and has you saying “How do I do that again?!”
In order to find your purpose, look at the intersection of what you love to do, what you’re great at doing, what you can make money doing, and what the world needs from you. See the graphic here. Take some time and fill in everything you can think of for each category. Then look at the items that correlate. Keep adding to the list as you think of things. Put it down and come back to it later.
When you think you’ve got it, ask yourself why this is your awesome. Then ask four more times. If you feel like it really sticks, boom! If not, don’t sweat it. Just keep digging.
Match Your Outside To Your Inside
Now that you know what your awesome is, it’s time to match the outside to the inside. Have you watched a speaker walk up on stage and doubted they would be good until they opened their mouth? Well, you don’t have to wear nice clothes and get mani/pedis every weekend but you DO need to make sure you know how to show up in every situation.
Does how you show up on the outside match your purpose? Take a look in the mirror. Does what you see reflect who you really are on the inside? What needs to change in order to better represent your personal brand? Your personal brand is the package that is you; from your innate core values and how you see the world, to the way you wear your hair or dress yourself, and what others feel every time they see you. Maybe only a little needs to be changed or maybe a lot. That’s up to you. But if you want others to wonder if you’re born with it (no no, don’t sing the jingle), you’ve got to make sure you show up on purpose (see what I did there).
When we think about that girlfriend who shows up fully in her purpose, we find that our jealousy or wide-eyed wonder is because we’re searching for the same thing inside ourselves. She’s our friend because she sees something in us we may not see. I invite you to find your purpose, stand in your personal brand, and live the life you were meant to live.
A version of this article was published in the Fall 2016 issue of Sass Magazine.