What exactly is “your tribe”? And how do you go about finding your tribe? You know those people who you don’t make you feel like your house has to look perfect when they visit? Or the people you can’t wait to call when you have exciting news? Maybe even those people you trust to share challenges and obstacles with?
Those amazing people are members of your tribe.
Members of your tribe are the people closest to you who celebrate you for who you are. They’re the people that jump for joy when you’re excited. And the ones who cry with you over a bottle of wine when you’ve hit a rough patch. They don’t gossip, nit-pick or ask you to be something that you’re not. When you’re with these people, you feel like the best version of yourself. You don’t have to be someone that you’re not. You feel energized and full after you’ve been with them, not drained and exhausted.
You’re a multi-layered woman who wears many hats. Your tribe is versatile depending which hat you’re wearing. There are three areas in which you can locate tribe members:
Your friends and family
This can be one of the trickiest areas. Friends and family often mean well but if you find yourself feeling drained or upset every time you’re with them, it may be time to limit your time with them. Your friends and family tribe members are the ones supporting you along the sidelines as you run your life race.
Finding the right team who not only see your vision but celebrate it and work hard towards it with you is key to your success and happiness at work. A rising tide lifts all ships and when you’re a unified force, everyone succeeds.
Your business mentors/support
There are only a select number of people you can truly open up to who share your same business challenges and victories. Having a business tribe who you can turn to for advice is one of the most valuable sets of relationships you can have.
Let’s face it. We can’t always be in the perfect scenario with the perfect people, and that’s ok. What is important is recognizing when someone is outside of your tribe and how to remove or eliminate negative behavior from your inner circle. People will treat you the way you allow them to. Let me repeat. People will treat you the way you allow them to. Sometimes there’s a natural evolution in friendship that sends you in separate directions and you have to work through the emotions that come with that. Other times you may outgrow people and they start to lash out or say things to make you feel small in hopes to keep you at their level.
Shedding people and protecting your energy may be one of the hardest things to experience. But ask yourself this. Which is harder – saying no to someone in fear of losing them even though they make you feel bad on a regular basis OR facing the situation and removing the energy in exchange for more meaningful relationships that lift you up? If you have to face a challenge either way, why not choose the path that helps you be your best you?
How To Find Your Tribe: 6 Questions to Ask Yourself
- What do I give in a relationship?
- Which qualities do I value most in friendship?
- What values are important in my life?
- What do I wish I had more of in relationships?
- What’s important to me in a relationship?
- What things will I not tolerate in a relationship?
As you answer the questions above, you’ll start to recognize what values matter most to you. Look for people who embrace these same values. You’re well on your way to finding your tribe!