“Everything we do is driven by a desire to feel a certain way.” Danielle Laporte
So you landed that perfect job after it took you six years of ridiculously expensive school to get qualified for it, bought your dream house, snuggle with a precious miracle baby at night and wake up next to a blue-eyed hunk who is everything on that infamous checklist titled “The One.” And even though you have everything you ever thought you wanted… you somehow want more. Maybe you feel guilty because you’re afraid this confirms it: you are officially one of those narcissistic, greedy Americans who will never be satisfied. You bury your longings and tell yourself to let life be enough for you.
Or, maybe you’re just starting out on this journey and are wondering how to go about mapping out your life. Perhaps you feel confused because most middle-aged people you know seem pretty lost — and they’re supposed to be the ones guiding you!
In Danielle LaPorte’s contagious book, The Desire Map, she suggests there is a huge, significant, perfectly understandable reason you want more, and it has nothing to do with being a corrupt, insatiable monster. It is simply this: nobody ever taught you how to connect with your deep, soul desires. Maybe your family mapped out a practical, logical plan for your life, or your educational path took you farther away from that divine sparkle of creativity in your soul. Whatever the reason, you don’t know how to connect to your core desired feelings, and until this moment you may not have even considered it was a thing. So before you file for divorce, consider a career overhaul, or sell all your possessions to get lost on the other side of the world — just wait. Everything you need is within you. Ninety-nine percent of the time we can create the life we want without a life overhaul. Most of the time, we just need to learn how to generate our desired feelings.
You only need to answer this one question: How do you really want to feel? Once you have clarity on this one thing, I promise everything else falls into place.
First, take some time to go within. Examine each of the goals you have already achieved and ask yourself: How did I think this job, husband, etc. was going to make feel? This is a good way to connect with your core desired feelings. Maybe words like loved, a sense of belonging, security, safety, connection, self-expression, or creativity came to mind. Now that you know how you really want to feel, commit to three daily actions that will take you one baby step closer to feeling those things. For example, if you want to feel more love in your life, maybe commit to practicing extreme self-care or to giving away reckless love to one person every day.
Get ready for an exciting ride! When we take action-oriented steps towards how we want to feel our deepest longings, the path to fulfillment is never linear. New experiences, possibilities, and connections will open up, as if by magic. Be prepared to experience complete awe with how life suddenly seems to be cheering for you every step of the way. And isn’t that what we all really want? This is where every fulfilling life journey begins.